Dear Prius Driver,

While I acknowledge your commitment to combating global warming, as a cyclist, I do have to question why it is that Prius drivers are so very aggressive. Is it a feeling of self-righteousness that makes the typical Prius driver drive like they own the road? Clearly they are opinionated and like to express themselves. Have you ever noticed the average Prius driver has more bumper stickers than bumper space?

Please consider that when you zip by me within an inch of my bike I cannot hear you sneak up on me in your near silent vehicle. We are supposed to be pals. Sisters-in-emissions-free-arms, and all that. By the way, honking when you are right behind me to let me know you are there does not decrease the likelihood of me soiling myself in terror when you come within an inch of squashing me. Please try to remember I am one of the good guys too.

However, when Crispin Porter & Bogusky came up with the ad campaign for the North American launch of the new Mini they directed it to those ready to break the rules, throw caution to the wind and be a rebel in this tiny ass-kicker.

In part, I understand why you would drive with all that pent up anger. I mean you did have to make a significant sacrifice when it comes to design and aesthetics in choosing to purchase a Prius. Meanwhile I get to tootle around on a lovely object – le bicyclette – what could be more gorgeous.

It’s probably not fair to limit my rant to Prius drivers, so excuse me while I make a few more sweeping generalizations… grounded in experience and detailed observations mind you.

Ah, the Mini driver. I grew up in the UK with several versions of the original as my childhood family car and so I have a great fondness for said wheels. However, when Crispin Porter & Bogusky came up with the ad campaign for the North American launch of the new Mini they directed it to those ready to break the rules, throw caution to the wind and be a rebel in this tiny ass-kicker. They did a great job and that is exactly the kind of nincompoop piloting my beloved Mini today. Your daily commute is not part of some rally nor are you being secretly filmed for a remake of a remake of the Italian Job. And take it easy on the Prius drivers; your car is much cuter than theirs.

Now for my other favorite group of drivers – the Lexus owner. The standard issue Lexus comes with the most number of flashy features – it’s got gizmos galore. It seems to me that the Lexus owner believes this car can drive itself because of all the advanced technology that comes built in. Hence they have no reason to extend a finger to turn on an indicator, put down their coffee or perhaps refrain from texting while driving. I haven’t made my mind up as to whether they are lazy, spoilt or just not that bright. Really how hard is it to use your indicators?

Now I am sure you are thinking, if she is this bent out of shape about these cars she’s going to write a flipping novel when she finally gets to the Hummer or the other super-sized SUV’s. Well I’m not. It’s simple. Just get out of there way as quickly as you can. If they are still ignoring the facts about global warming and paying this much for gas they are clearly not bright enough to be issued a drivers license.

Thanks for listening I feel better having got that off my chest.

For the record I am not one of those aggressive cyclist who hogs the road and shouts at cars. Nor am I one of those spandex wearing goobers who looks like a package of m&m’s exploded on their clothing. I like to ride, I like to ride fast and when I drive I drive an Audi.